Jerry, you need to find god
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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