Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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