Kiss
Puke
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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