I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
