If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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