yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
