After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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