I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
