Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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