They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize