I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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