It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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