that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
