So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
