1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize