id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
