Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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