oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
