I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
