i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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