It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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