Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
