so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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