i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
