remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
