the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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