just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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