Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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