just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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