your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
