When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
