...so i touched it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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