I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
