How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
