I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize