Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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