My liver just broke up with me...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
