I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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