Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
