you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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