Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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