Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
