You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
