i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
