she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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