I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
