I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Houston, we have a blender
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
