Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
