Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
