I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
