Already got asked if we're dating
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
