Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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