I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
