I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
