wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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